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Monday, January 30, 2012

Things I Don't Believe In Part 2

A little over a year ago I complied a list. This was a list of things I don't believe in. I have since added to this list. I will now write Part 2 of Things I Don't Believe In.  
(Disclaimer, if you happen to believe in any of these things, I will not judge you, 
however our friendship might be reconsidered...depending)

I don't believe in repetitive high fives. Once is enough...even once is pushing it for some.
I don't believe in guys wearing sleeveless shirts.
I don't believe in opaque white tights. I'm guilty but I'm not to be blamed, I couldn't yet dress myself.
I don't believe in guys who have long fingernails.
I don't believe in boring white socks. Snooze.
I don't believe in banana laffy taffy...unless it's the only flavor available in an emergency situation.
I don't believe in fruit pie.
I don't believe in peeling an orange. Cutting them is best.
I don't believe in raking leaves.
I don't believe in paying for parking.
I don't believe in big hair poofs.
I don't believe in drinking warm water.
I don't believe in 1 ply toilet paper.
I don't believe in multiple ticking clocks in the same room.
I don't believe in body piercings in places other than the ear, and/or larger than a regular earring size.
I don't believe in belly buttons. Gross. I don't care who you are.
I don't believe in healthy Mexican food. Bring on the lard.
I don't believe in lace up shoes. Hi-tops=only exception.
I don't believe in the phrase, 'get 'er done'.
I don't believe in slow drivers.
I don't believe in black licorice.
I don't believe in round-a-bouts. We live in America, not Europe.
I don't believe in 70's wood paneling.
I don't believe in styrofoam cups/plates.
I don't believe in twitter.
I don't believe in guys (or girls) who take and post ridiculous pics of themselves. (sour apple face, high camera mirror pose, flexing, not looking at camera but we all know you took the picture because we see your arm, etc.)
I don't believe in the word 'Hubby'.
I don't believe in the saying, "I didn't come here to lose." REALLY?! Weird. Cuz the rest of us did....
I don't believe in cream filled donuts.
I don't believe in maraschino cherries.
I don't believe in white sunglasses. (insert rude comment here)
I don't believe in violent x box games.
I don't believe in toddlers and tiaras. No, you're 2 yr old does not need to go tanning, have huge fake teeth, and wear that awful fake hair.
I don't believe in canned fruit melody.
I don't believe in Elvis impersonators.
I don't believe in saying "I'll give110%" impossible.
I don't believe in cantaloupe.
I don't believe in abbreviated words. Like I'm totes def gonna B there B4 U. We speak English, not Bingo.
I don't believe in reality shows about "famous" people, who nobody knows WHY they're even famous. I'll give you two guesses...
I don't believe in Charleston chews.
I don't believe in eating takeout with metal silverware.


Thank you for tuning in, to this installment of, Things I Don't Believe In!!

A special thank you to our corporate sponsors, Soggy Bottom Diapers, Mormon Disco Ball Inc., and Todd's Premade Toast.


Please note, all companies listed above, if real, had NOTHING to do with this message. That is all.

2 comments:

Andrea said...

Ok the next time I make my favorite cherry pie I am going to bring it to you and you are going to believe in it!!!!!
This was fun!

MAUIGOOSE said...

i am sad about the pie....and the cantelope. =( and now u have me curious about an orange. i dont really like them that much but when i have actually eaten them i have never thought to cut them. now i will go buy one just because!

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