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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Parable of the Lanyard

*Disclaimer, this post is really a story, not a parable, I'm just overly dramatic and like to use big words

This is a story of a girl who didn't know how to keep her nose out of errybody's bid-ness. Let's call her Miranda. She was pretty tall for her age with skin white as snow. She was the coolest kid on the playground, and let's be honest, the coolest kid this side of the Miss-ippi. *Please note, we are now reading in a southern accent. She had/has the best dance moves and the most exquisite and charming personality that has ever graced this green earth.

When Miranda was just a wee lass *Please note, we are now reading in a Scottish accent the tender age of but 10ish years young, she decided to do a naughty thing. Now Miranda did a lot of naughty things like jumping out her bedroom window to play in the cul-de-sac, dripping nail polish on carpets, making big messes and blaming it on the one year old who couldn't yet speak, and she once 'borrowed' one of those cool pen erasers from a boy in the 4th grade and 'forgot' to return it (let it be known that she has been tossed around a sea of guilt since). But there was one time of year that Miranda was especially naughty. December.
for reference, this is the same exact color and model of the pen 
eraser mentioned in the story

Remember, Miranda was a nosy girl and was always up in someone's grill *Please note, we are now reading in a New York accent December was a difficult time for Miranda. Back then the days, weeks, months, years went by soooooo slowllllly it seemed like Christmas only happened once every decade. Being nosy, she knew of the many hiding places in her parents bedroom. (shhhhhh) This one day in December, she was trying to see over the counter to look at her perfect complexion in the mirror and it dawned on her that her parents had probably started hiding Christmas presents. Quiet as a mouse, Miranda left the bathroom and crawled to her parents bed. Jackpot. There were several bags tossed in 'plain site' behind extra blankets and pillows deep under the bed. Quickly and quietly she pulled the only bag her little arms could reach. She crawled back into the bathroom and opened the bag. Inside was an object that caught her eye. She wasn't quite sure what it's purpose was, but she loved it. The rest of the items weren't for her so she shoved everything back inside and returned it to it's hiding spot.

Christmas morning came, just before Miranda thought she would burst from anticipation. One of her packages contained the item she had found a few weeks back. She put it around her neck and knew it upped her cool meter by a good 86%. 

Fast forward a couple years later. Miranda gets her very first house key. Pulling the item from her desk drawer she proudly attached her key to the coveted 'Old Navy' Lanyard. A few more years later, Miranda got her driving permit and the next year her drivers license. Now it had been many years since this lanyard had made it's debut, but she knew where it was. Now all of her keys were on this lanyard, never to be taken off.

Miranda had purchased many lanyards over the years, colorful ones, blingy ones, cutesy ones, but never managed to switch the old lanyard for the new ones. Until now. 15ish years after snooping around under her parents bed, Miranda finally realized that the poor Old Navy lanyard had seen better days and she had a really cute bright green one hanging from her mirror, taunting her for a year. It was a memorable moment for Miranda. She breathed a sigh of remorse mixed with trepidation (would this new lanyard hold up to such high standards?), mixed with sadness, mixed with glee, mixed with anticipation. Miranda had finally done it. Chances are, that little blue Old Navy lanyard will go in a memory box, perhaps in a box with this story. Maybe in 10 years Miranda will find that box and reminisce on all the good times her and that blue lanyard had. Perhaps that new bright green lanyard will be dulled and worn, needing to be replaced and it's story will be recorded, and placed to rest in the same box.

I have a confession, the girls name was not Miranda as I had convinced you, it was Amanda. Miranda is me, I am Miranda. Perhaps you cannot believe me to be capable of such tom foolery and lies but, I cannot deny it, or who I was back then. I defied all authority and convention, and this is my story.

 My trusty, blue, Old Navy lanyard. Perhaps the smallest, most random item I have ever not lost.
 My new, bright green BYU-I lanyard. It won't be the same, but it will sure make it a heckuvalot easier to find my keys from within the depths of my purse.

 *PS, I'm REALLY sorry if you just read that entire story, while all the facts are true, this was the most random, strange, unrelated to anything, story I have ever told.

Stay tuned for next week's Miranda story, The forgotten bottle of glow in the dark nail polish. dun dun dun, it's a doozy.

Sunday, October 28, 2012


Time is disappearing. It's not flying or going fast, it's just gone and I have no idea where it went. My to-do list isn't getting smaller, quite the opposite, but I had a good four days to relax, scrapbook, eat more food than I should have, sleep, craft, watch PLL, etc....

We had a quick scrapbooking weekend with some friends which is always fun. We don't usually have them in the fall, usually in the summer, but they decided to add a quick fall one in. I'm glad they did, it was much needed and a good break.

I had to do homework the first night/skype with class which was NOT fun but oh well. This week I need to play 'ketchup' with all the stuff I've let slip the last week or two. Like kick my butt into gear to finish assignments so I can stay ahead among other things.

Tomorrow is Monday, wahhhh wahhhhh. Monday's aren't very fun, why is that? Each week is just a carbon copy of the last and it's getting a little oldddd. Maybe I'll go to a play this week to switch things up. Ohhh wait I am!! Going to see Wicked Friday night with Nicole and her parents/friends. Parrrrtaaay.

This week I'm focusing on homework, organizing, editing photos, creating greeting cards, errands, breathing, planning next weeks Pathway lesson I'm in charge of, finishing up the stuff I want to sell at the boutique (scarves, photo cards, and greeting cards, etc....), eating, and sleeping.

Now I am going to do none of the above and finish watching Inception.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Do you ever have those days where stuff happens and you just sit back and wonder what the heck just happened? Ya that would be today. Totally twilight zoneish.

Monday I went to work at 8:15am got home about 4ish. Went back to work at 9:30pm and got off today around 6pm. Going on about four hrs of sleep wasn't my problem either.

I worked on office stuff all afternoon then we had a staff meeting to end all staff meetings. I still don't know what all was going on literally four people talking over each other and our fearless boss just sat trying to get a word in edgewise. She deserves an award for patience and a six month spa vacation with all the stuff she has to do.

Anyways I won't go into detail but it was quite the emotional scene for many reasons. I was thankful to get outta there. Save the drama fo yo momma.

I'm pretty sure I just know too much about too many people, maybe I wear a "free therapy" shirt and don't realize it.

Seriously that was the craziest 2 hr meeting I have EVER been in,on so many levels. My teeth grinding is back with a vengeance!!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Things I Don't Believe In Part 3

Part 1
Part Dos

  • Blogs that automatically play music. Thanks for that mild heart attack
  • JLo perfume
  • Relish
  • Short showers
  • Hangnails
  • Not watching Honey Boo Boo (meaning, I believe in watching it)
  • Colgate toothpaste
  • Chocolate ice cream
  • Drinking water from the tap in California, Utah, Florida, and Ferndale
  • Airplane restrooms
  • The word 'restrooms' I prefer bathrooms
  • Mt. Dew
  • Movies that aren't narrated by Morgan Freeman
  • Peeps
  • Sweaty handshakes 
  • Blue headlights
  • Carly Rae Jepsen
  • Pocket chains
  • when movies make dolls/children scary
  • being overly political on FB 
  • Itches that you can't reach
  • Obama
  • Hanging clothes up
  • Eating canned chili
  • mushrooms
  • The plastic bag ban in B'ham
  • boots that reach higher than ones knee
  • Eating PB from a spoon gross
  • The little plastic things they use to attach sale tags to clothes
  • Hair ratting
  • going to bed at a decent time (well I would believe in it if I could fall asleep)
  • Pinning 34 new exercises to try followed by 68 desserts to bake
  • Jenna Marshall
  • Answering 1-800 # phone calls
  • energy drinks
  • Watching local access television or the Maury Povich show
  • People who don't know when to stop talking, especially when they think they know more than they do

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

In the movies

I don't often watch scary movies/shows. I have enough hallucinations at night without the added stress of having scary images pop up in my mind. There are some things that I watch that do have a little bit of a scary factor, but I know it's just silly so I try not to let myself get scared.

The things I'm curious about though are, WHY do people go into the dark woods alone to investigate strange noises? WHY do they leave their doors unlocked? WHY do they yell out who's there, giving away where they are? WHY don't they hid? WHY don't they call 911? WHY don't they invest in some mace, or a bat or something if scary things keep happening? WHY are their houses always dark? WHY do they split up in scary situations? WHY don't they question the odd coincidences that keep happening? WHY do they trust strangers? WHY do they confront the people who they think are the bad guys? WHY don't they keep what they know a secret until they can prove something? WHY can't they pretend nothing is wrong when the suspect is talking to them?

I just don't get it. I know it's fake but if I ran the scary movie business, a few things would need to change. But I don't plan on running it anytime soon.


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

go-go shabee's

Shelley says go-go shabee's all the time, nobody knows what it means so I just use it as a random filler word when I can't think of anything else to use in it's place. That and mock-a-leeko.

random evening thoughts.

I love Raising Hope
I want to eat Menchies right now
this time last week I threw up (ruining my 8+ yr streak)
my fingernails are painted different colors because they can be
all these political debates are giving me heartburn
I have several huge to-do lists
I updated my google calendar and had a cornea due to all the 'stuff' I gotta do
I really need to buy shampoo
Also a new brush
Nicole, can you go to that one store ('Michelle's' store) over by the old TOM?
I am in the middle of so many craft projects and have several more 'on deck'
I have to prepare a lesson about drug abuse, any ideas?
I'm at work and there is a mouse trap on the table with PB on it, the cheese is gone, the spring is sprung and there is no mouse trapped
I realllllly want one of these I love me a good bueno blanket
I went into Costco last night and actually didn't want to deck anybody!!
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
I love JB's new song As Long as you Love Me
I found a Now 4 CD in my car yesterday, I listened to it all the way home. Savage Garden, TLC, Backstreet Boys, Eiffle 65 (remember, I'm blue dabba dee dabba die), Smash Mouth, Train (back in the good ol' days), and Hansen are all featured. It was a blast from the past
I shouldn't be blogging
I want pumpkin seeds

Friday, October 12, 2012

Perfect Timing

I love when things just work out. This is totally silly and irrelevant to life in general but it made me happy. It's the small things.

I was downstairs sewing for a project I'm working on. I had a sew a whole bunch of little strips to make ruffles. So I brought my laptop down to watch Netflix as I worked (multitasking :)) and the battery warning came up only 8% left. I looked down at my incomplete pile and thought it would be great if the battery died right as I was done. No joke as soon as I stopped the machine after finishing the last one my laptop died. It's such a small totally silly thing but I appreciated it.

Here is a preview of my project:

More October challenge

Here are a few more photos from my October photo a day project.

Day 5- Shadow (my chile ring on a book to create a heart)
6- thankful for (fambily)
7-light (down at the orchard after conference and two baptisms)
8- angle (barn)
9- red (my new red temple bag that I loooooove)
10- emotion (ughh I got so sick)
11-something close up

Today was 10-11-12 what a lucky day!!
Oh I guess it's tomorrow already but you get the idea. Tomorrows picture will be what's on the table. Hmmmm

Thursday, October 11, 2012

An 'outfit' a day

Outfits for my iPhone that is. I have a problem. But at least I get them for like $1-2 each so I justify it.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Radio Silence

I haven't listened to the radio for several months now. I used to listen to the 'local' (Vancouver, BC) radio station that played top 40 hits, but I listened to the early morning talk show driving home from work. Well the one person that I liked on that show left. Therefore I haven't listened to the radio for a long time. It seems like every time I turn that darn thing on, the music is talking about 'garden tools' and 'body anatomy' and I'm not in to that (use your imagination, oh wait, don't).

I also realized that when I listen to the radio I get reallllllly annoyed while I drive. I'm much more short tempered and my road rage flares up (let's be honest) plus all the commercials make me feel like filling my ears with play-doh.
To remedy this fact, I decided to go old school and break out the CD's (you know those little round discs that make a great frisbee substitute?). I have A LOT of CD's so I started listening to them, by the time I realized it I had pretty much gone through each CD and discarded it. There are two I listen to now, The Lower Lights and Nashville Tribute Band. Both church CD's. So weird, I didn't used to want to listen to just church music. But I'm a nice driver when I do, well for the most part.

On my drive home from work today I switched over to the radio. Sometimes I get really lucky radio listening wise, other times I hit the junk jackpot. Seriously I don't need to know the words to Call me Maybe and the newest Rihanna song. I don't WANT to know the words. I'm not a snob or prude, because I'll tell you what, I will bust a move to pretty much any song (wish I was kidding).

I've been lucky with the radio lately with songs like, While my Guitar Gently Weeps (Beatles), 3AM (Matchbox 20), Brian Wilson (BNL), Walking in Memphis (Mark Cohn), Old Time Rock n' Roll (Bob Segar), Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley), Iris (GooGoo Dolls), Life's Been good to me so far (Joe Walsh), Everybody Talks (Neon Trees), Lights (Ellie Goulding) etc......

These are some of my very favorite songs too!! Man if the radio always played songs like this with no commercials I would totally listen!!

This has been a public service announcement with absolutely no purpose. I seriously have a stack of stuff right next to me that I need to be doing, not writing senseless blogs about radio songs that NOBODY cares about!! ahhhhhh ok.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

October Challenge

It's that time of year again. It seems like this always happens in October. I'm participating in an instagram photo-a-day challenge. last year I did this for 365 days, every single day I took a photo so this is the condensed version of that.

If you would like to participate here is the list (it's a few days into it but you can just remember back and take pictures for that day :) I cheated a bit too, it's ok

 Day #1 Where you stood--I stood at the foot of my work bed, mostly because it was 1am and I just found out about the project and the other person posted about their bed too haha.
 Day #2 Lunchtime. Technically this is not a lunch, obviously. But I was taking senior pictures at Peace Arch park around lunchtime so I'm counting it.
 Day #3 This happened today. I continued knitting my cowl to sell at a little boutique and finished it, I also worked on homework....surprising.
 Day #4 What you read. This is what I've read (or will read) today. I'm trying to get a good balance of required reading and recreational reading, but they are all church related, even my homework kind of is this week :).

OK now I really need to go finish up that homework and whatnot I just love to take blogging breaks.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

On the Bright Side

My camera after dropping it face down on the cement today. Awesome.
Yep, that happened today. Have you ever wanted to go back in time just 5 or 10 seconds? I had that feeling today. It was a VERY stupid mistake on my part.

on the bright side.....

Hopefully it's just the protective UV lens cap that's broken

on the not bright side....

I can't get the UV cap off, it is jammed onto the lens

on the bright side....

I got a lot of fun senior pictures on a very nice day

on the not bright side.....

I have 4 more photo shoots coming up in the next week

on the bright side......

I could take up painting and paint family photos instead of take them

on the not bright side....

I can barely draw stick figures

on the bright side.....

I have an excuse to buy a new camera

on the not bright side....

The camera I want is equivalent in price to that of a small vehicle

on the bright side.....

I have a really cute camera bag

on the not bright side....

that my camera was not in when I dropped it

on the bright side.....

Nicole gave me a fun sized laffy taffy to erase all my camera woes

Let's just leave it at that.


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