sLeeP and other senseless thoughts

I LOVE sleep. I consider myself somewhat of a sleep conseguir. There's just something so rewarding and relaxing about sleep. This is why I wouldn't be a good parent because kids don't like sleep. Just saying (insert mildly funny babysitting story: once I babysat overnight and the youngest girl woke up at 4:30AM on a Saturday(!!) and wanted to 'play'. She was old enough to entertain herself and her parents told me to kick the kids out if they woke up too early. Against my better judgement I let her stay in the room while I continued in a half sleep. I woke up to her putting tanning glasses on my eyes and checking my heartbeat with her fake stethoscope, while whispering medical jargon nonsense to herself. She told me she was performing an eye transplant because I looked weird without my glasses on. Complex much). In my hay day (12-16) I could sleep in on a Saturday until noon if allowed. Now on my day's off I usually don't get up before 9. With my current overnight work schedule, it makes me appreciate sleep even more even though I do sleep in a little later than I normally would.

BUT. These last several weeks I have not been sleeping well AT ALL. I've tried Melatonin, 5HTP, counting sheep, reading boring books, rolling my eyes when they were closed (hey, I was REALLY tired & desperate. Take my advice, don't do this unless you like to feel dizzy and nauseated) even regular old non-habit forming sleeping pills. I just cannot fall asleep. Once I'm asleep I'm usually good until I have to get up but falling asleep at 4:45am when I have to be up at 8 is NOT my cup of tea.

To top this crazy train off, I've been having awake 'dreams' and I find myself asking the age old question, "is this real life?". I'm seeing colors floating around and I try to grab them, sometimes I end up almost falling off my bed. I'm in this half asleep/don't want to be awake mode. It's weirrrrd.

This could also be attributed to stress. I don't know if I've even been so scatterbrained and stressed out before, and I'm not even that busy right now!! My strange eyelid scaly skin is coming back with a vengeance which is a tall-tell sign of stress. Don't worry I have medicine for this now :) huzzzah!! No more freaky eyelids for me.

Please fasten your seat belts and hold on to your hats, I went to the doctor on Friday!! Of course I forgot to mention this lack of sleep issue but I got a few other things situated. My issue-y hands will probably require surgery sometime in the near future (no more 'claws' after carrying heavy things!!). I haven't been to a regular doctor since I was like 10. I did go once when I was 14 for a physical for fast pitch, and once a few years ago because my throat closed up (and I couldn't get my nurse aunt to write me a prescription), and once last October to get my foot xrayed after getting a stress fracture in my foot from puddle jumping in Florida. Now that you have my complete medical history....

Let's just say I would rather NOT go to the doctor. I'll probably get something worse sitting in the waiting room than what I went in for. DUH. It's called logic.

I'm waiting for some results from lots of blood tests (don't really know what for) and my hand xrays. I think the doctor was grossed out by my hinge-y fingers. It's not that gross, promise, I just feel every bone and joint when I move them which I've heard isn't the 'norm' whatever that means.

I'll probably look back and this blog post and wonder what the heck I was thinking, and truth is, I'm not really thinking, just zoning out, trying to think up new ways to make myself go to sleep. I've got zilch so far. Any hints/tips/tricks/tranquilizers?

Maybe I'll watch some antique roadshow, that should help. Except then I would likely find myself really enjoying that show, tried the same thing with Storage Wars....YUPPPPPPPPP.

(GOSH halfheartedly reading over this post, I've discovered I'm most likely another species of human made from leftover parts of Frankenstein. I'm a hot mess.)