If I had an online dating profile

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*This post is sponsored by Valentine's day 

**I'm just kidding

Online dating is a thing people do. I’m not one of those people but if I were my “about me” section would look a little something like this:

________________________

In the interest of full disclosure here are a few things you should know about me. At any point feel free to click the back button on your browser. Please remember you were fairly warned.

My socks often don’t match. I’m fairly certain a little house elf named Dobby keeps stealing them but I have yet to catch him in the act.

I have a fanatical obsession with Disney: the movies, the theme parks, the princesses, the villains, the silly sidekicks, the soundtracks, the cheesy and predictable endings, and the costumes.

My favorite holiday is Halloween.

I love orange foods, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, and carrots. Okay I love three orange foods.

As you can see from my above lists I do employ the use of the oxford comma and encourage all my acquaintances to do the same.

If you do not know how to correctly use the following words you need not apply: there, their, they’re. 

Points in your favor if you can name the 23 helping verbs.

My bucket list includes hiding in a closet at Ikea and when people pass jump out and yell “For Narnia!”

I’m patient except for when I’m not.

If you do not understand the following references you need not apply: “I open at the close”, “Turn to page 394”, “50 points for Gryffindor”, “Mischief managed”, “I must not tell lies”, “I have waited twelve years!”, “Always”.

Insert some sort of reference to walking on the beach or something as equally expected.

I love raw cookie dough therefore I live on the edge. Salmonella schamonella.

I don’t watch Doctor Who but I know enough not to abbreviate his name to Dr. Who.

I also don’t watch Lord of the Rings. Ever.

Sometimes muggles get me down but I Wingardium LeviOsa above it.

Most of the time I can’t think of the correct word to whatever I’m trying to say so you’ll need to learn that when I accidentally call a bunny a dolphin, you’re not supposed to laugh.

I want to start a “dance walking” movement.

My height limits me from reaching the top two shelves in any high cupboard so I’ve honed very impressive ninja moves as well as tong wielding capabilities used to extend my reach.

I have tendencies that lean towards the Hansel and Gretel persuasion. I leave little trails of items around. Let’s pretend that it helps me remember where I’ve been. It doesn’t but it’s better than saying I’m not good at putting my stuff away right away.

I love bees.

I engage in a wide variety of hobbies and activities including but not limited to: knitting/crocheting (yes just like your grandma), reading, sewing, dancing poorly and not seriously and not in front of strangers, crafting, photography, trying to build furniture (from scratch not Ikea), planning parties (even if they don’t happen), demolishing rooms that I decide I want to re-do, cooking, baking, etc… I’ve tried my hand at pickling, accounting, rubix cubes, learning Japanese, and close up magic. I have failed horribly at them all.

Miscellaneous facts about me: I’ve skydived indoors, I hate the sound of people clipping toenails and chewing, I overuse the phrase “Don’t make me punch you in the throat” when I’m annoyed (please note this is an empty threat), I may love shopping on Amazon a bit too much, I do not like odd numbers, I do not like the word blouse, I own a kayak, when frustrated with someone I’ve been known to call them Hector Zeroni or Hector or Hector Z, I do not camp, I do not eat tomatoes, I do wear socks to bed, and I do like building blanket forts.

Some of my favorite things-

Favorite coin- quarter

Favorite utensil- spoon

Favorite movie- too many

Favorite book- way too many but use your powers of deduction from the other things I’ve shared

Favorite TV show- Survivor

Favorite food- guacamole

Favorite band- too many

Favorite Font- Helvetica or Trebuchet

And If none of that works I'll hit 'em with this, 

 

If that doesn't work, I don't know what will. 

And that folks is just some of the reasons why I’m not married. 

*Maybe I should print this out to give to moms/grandmas/sisters/aunts when they want me to marry their son/grandson/brother/nephew

I'm like the cookie monster but with books not cookies

^ That's a mouthful! ^

I have been reading nonstop it seems! I keep 'buying' (mostly free) books for my kindle app and borrowing ebooks from the lending library it's so great!
I can't even remember the number of books I've read so far this month but it's been at least two-three a week. It feels good to read again it's been too long since I've really read.

I'm currently on the 4th Harry Potter book again. I only read HP when I blow dry my hair...it's a long process and I've gone through three books since this fall.

I've officially finished all of Sarah Eden's books- thankfully the woman writes like crazy and her next book comes out next month and will probably have one or two more by the end of the year. They are just fun to read there is nothing scandalous or crazy and they're the types of books you can finish in just a couple days. Just in the last few weeks I've read Seeking Persophne, As You Are, An Unlikely Match, and A Glimmer of Hope. I recommend all of the above and every other book she's written.

Another fun author similar to Sarah Eden is Karen Witemeyer. I've only read two of hers so far in the last couple weeks, Short Straw Bride and A Tailor-Made Bride. They both happened to be either free/cheap for my kindle. I have a third book of hers I got today from the library that I'm excited to begin. I'll have a reading super bowl instead of football!

I have also read five other random books on my kindle that were just alright. Nothing terribly exciting.

I did check out two books from the e-lending library I just finished the first one today it's called Persephone. It must have popped up because of the Sarah Eden book. I'm not into Greek mythology too much but I remember a little bit from school. It's a more modern take on the myths which is kind of interesting. Not one I'd rush out and buy or anything but it was a library book.

Anyways. I love reading. I also love writing. About a month and a half ago I started writing another book and I have over 60,000 words so far which equals approximately 250 pages (book formatted pages). It's not done yet but it takes a couple minutes to fully load on my computer. Cray.
On Monday or Tuesday I had a random thought and thought, hey that would be a fun book so I started writing again and have almost 15,000 words which is about 60 pages. I just have a fun time writing and daydreaming. I don't write out an outline or anything I just write and come up with stuff as it happens and occasionally I have to go and adjust small details but the thought of writing an outline and all that kind of takes the fun out of it. I enjoy just going where I want to with it.
I've been staying up too late though because I don't realize how much time passes. I should be indexing for one of my classes but I find little spurts of time to work on that and other homework too. 

Well go read those books. And if you have any recommendations for me let me know! I can always add more to my list :)

I kind of love January I feel like I've been hibernating and things haven't been so dang crazy. Last year I almost lost my mind so this is a good pace to begin the year.

My not so happy working song

Can't I just go to disneyland?! PLEASE?! That's all I want in life. I need to find a bird that will talk to me so I can prove I'm a disney princess and leave all these dingle hoppers behind for a whole new world.

These are a few of the things I want to ignore today and forever and how being a disney princess would eliminate the urgency/necessity of these tasks.

• The 20 minute call wait line I'm on (If only I had a conch shell)? 
• Enrolling for health insurance junk that's TOTALLY RIDICULOUS (princesses only require a kiss if they fall ill)! 
• Homework I have due (an eternal sleep sounds more relaxing)!
• Taxes (when you live in a tall tower where nobody knows you exist you don't have taxes)!
• My messy room (living in a castle would give me more closet space)!
• 12 loads of laundry I need to do (those talking birds would come in handy)!
• Replacing my license plates which I got back in OCTOBER (pumpkin's turned carriages don't require license plates)!
• My messy desk (living underwater would take care of those pesky papers)!
• My messy car (Horses don't have trunks that stuff can be shoved into)!
• Boxing up craft stuff downstairs (castles have whole wings that go unoccupied leaving lots of room for guests, thus eliminating the need to box stuff up)!
• Getting my tires replaced (my fairy godmother could bippy boppty boo those things)!
• Getting an oil change (the ability to create ice and snow from my fingertips would allow me to make a big skating rink so I could skate everywhere I wanted to go)!
• Getting a car wash (canoes floating down the river bend get automatic washes)! 

Those are just a few of the things I really don't want to do. Alas I'll put my Spotify Disney playlist on and whistle while I work as I reflect on when my life will begin. Or better yet I can let it go, or I can build a snowman, or I could paint with all the colors of the wind. Those sound like better options. But a dream is just a wish your heart makes and I know I need to get one jump ahead but all I really want is a magic carpet ride.
I'm a fixer upper but I will be swift as a coursing river with all the force of a great tycoon with all the strength of a raging fire. I can go the distance and that's the gospel truth.

Free Two Day Shipping

I love Amazon. That is no secret around these parts. I order pretty much everything from there because it's so convenient, 95% of the time I get the item/s I need for cheaper than I would get it locally and I can get it for free in two days! It's made me spoiled and now I really dislike paying for shipping.

I've been reading lots of historical fiction lately, like a lot, and watching the same sort of movies/TV show (Downton Abbey). Watching/reading these stories makes me wonder how anything got accomplished back then! They had no email, no phones (well for the most part), and if you wanted to send a letter it would take weeks or longer to get to it's destination.

Now days we can obviously send emails instantly and if we want to send a letter it's 50 some odd cents and it can arrive in just a day or two. I love real cards/letters. There's nothing better than getting a real hand-written letter in the mail but it's rare these days.

This is a random blog geesh.

Anyways. Did you know in 1914 a mother mailed her baby across the state of Indiana for 17 cents and it was in a travel container labeled, "live baby"...17 cents wouldn't be enough to send a postcard now!

Also in 1914 a four year old girl was sent across the state for 53 cents (same price as shipping chickens) and she sat in the mail car with postage stamps on her coat. How I wish I could see that. In my mind I have a very clear image of it!

(In my little research on this I found that the US Postal service is the 3rd largest employer, the first is the US department of defense, and the second is Wal-Mart...what?!)

Well this post is sufficiently ridiculous. I'm wasting time waiting my dang laundry to dry (because my dryer takes f.o.r.e.v.e.r. to dry anything) and going to work. At least my clothes don't have to be hung dried outside! That happened this summer (thankfully in the summer!) and it was pretty unfortunate but we still had a working washer which was very fortunate.

We are lucky to receive those pesky emails and bills that make us pay for electricity and gas to heat our houses. Lucky to order items from the other side of the country and receive them just days later. I have a car that I just push a peddle down and it (can) moves at a very alarming speed AND it plays music AND sprays fluid on the windshield to clean it off! Whoa. I gotta stop reading these books because I keep getting too wrapped up in their world and I get these sudden hankerings to heat up bricks in the fireplace and put them at the foot of my bed for warmth.

Burrrr

On New Years Day Nicole and I went to the movie theater and my little toes became FROZEN . Not because we saw Frozen but because the AC was WAY too high. Afterwards we went and got FROZEN yogurt. 

Go see Frozen. Now. I don't want any excuses from you.

It's the most delightful little movie you'll ever seen. People of all ages love it. I have always and will always love Disney movies but this makes my top five, if not higher.

This was like Wicked meets Disney, especially since the original Elphaba (Idina Menzel) is the voice of Elsa and those two characters have A LOT in common. Oh it's wonderful just go see it.

This is my favorite song/scene in the movie I think....well one of them. It's the song that most reminded me of Wicked (Defying Gravity much?!).

All the songs are great too. Please just go see it.

PS If you would like to have a birthday party (or just any ol' party) I will plan it for you. It will be Frozen themed. I wrote this song about my party planning ambitions:
Do you want to plan a party? Come on let's plan it now. I never need a reason to, plan a big to-do let's plan it nowwwww!
It's to the tune of this song

I'll be done now.

Whaaaaaaaa?

Holy crow this week is gonna be crazy.

Merry Christmas in 10 days!

30 Days

December?! No it's not time for you yet, it's still August and this is just a trick. Seriously!

So after church today I decided I was going to read the Book of Mormon cover to cover in 30 days this month. Cray. I'm not going to focus on studying out each thing like I typically do because then it will take me 300 days. I'm just going to read/listen. I've not been very good at it lately which is a bummer because I was almost too overboard with it earlier this year. I would spend 3+ hours a day on one or two chapters. That's great if you have that time. I don't.

Here is a bookmark I found online a few minutes back that I'll be using to keep me on track.

If you click on the bookmark, it will send you to the blog of the lady who made this where you can copy it. 

December is crazy. But what month isn't crazy? Thinking about this last year a month hasn't gone by without some big event or project happening. Things aren't going to 'slow down' so my excuses are invalid and lame. 

You can do a lot in 30 days! 

You make time for the things that matter most to you. Choose wisely friends!

I'm grateful for

Kleenex
Vitamin D
Satsuma oranges
Niquil

Elder B.

This weekend was so busy but so great. Our stake had the opportunity to have Elder Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles come and speak to us at a 'special stake conference'. He happened to be in the area for something and decided to do this. Saturday night he had a special YSA fireside in Arlington that Nicole and I went to. It was question and answer format which I was unsure of at first, I just wanted to hear what HE wanted to tell us! Then after just a couple minutes I was over it and loved the Q&A format. The way he was able to quickly answer so many questions without taking a pause to compose his thoughts is what really impressed me the most and confirmed that he truly is an apostle of the Lord. Being able to answer so plainly, honestly, and quickly is seriously impressive. I know it was Heavenly Father working through the Holy Ghost through Elder Bednar to answer those questions.

I took lots of notes because that's just what I do and I want to share them all but I'll do the cliff notes version for those unable to attend. (Some of these parts are just my random thoughts and aren't 'official' Elder Bednar words. My thoughts are italicized)

• Be an agent who acts, don't sit and wait around.
• There's a reason we all read 1st & 2nd Nephi so many times. It's so we can read and reread Nephi's story to get it through our thick skulls that we don't need to sit and wait for an answer or some big dramatic epiphany. We need to have faith that Christ will provide the way when we are obedient and righteous. Nephi didn't sit around and question whether or not he should go back to get the plates, he went and did what was asked of him. He was an agent, not an object.

•  Develop yourself to serve God. All things should lead to Him. 

• Learn love and patience to help bring others to the gospel. 
• It's not about getting them to church for a number or to say you've done your missionary work. It's about helping others find peace and happiness. Giving them the information and tools to be successful in each aspect of their lives. Pray for those opportunities.

• The Gospel makes us more than we are.  
• The principles and ordinances of the gospel allow us to tap into our incomprehensible potential. 

• God sets the terms and conditions of covenants.  
• The promises that we make bring along an obligation but they also bring along blessings. I think the obligation will always be less than the blessings. He has always and will always follow through on his side of the promise. He is and will always be the same.

• We act then we get power. We don't wait for power to act. He will inspire us to act when we are obedience. Have confidence in what you do. 

• Make time for what matters most to you. Spend time on the things that have enduring value, something that will last through eternity. 

• You will become what you spend your time doing.  
• Hmm so that means I should re-prioritize big time.   

• Complete your most important tasks first, then everything else will fall into place.

• Take something into the scriptures, a question you want answered so you can find direction as you study. Instead of going to the temple with a question you want answered, go to the temple with the desire to find a question. Then use that question, take that question into the scriptures to find your answer.

• Promise: Ask Heavenly Father how to be an agent, how to feast upon the words, not just read the scriptures. He will bless us.

• The Priesthood is not male. It is God's authority. It blesses us all equally. It is like an umbrella that men are ordained to hold up, but it pours out and blesses everyone. 

• We can't solve all the problems. We can make an impact with small influences/actions.

• No unhallowed hand can stop this work. We are in the last quarter of the game. We have an advantage, we know who wins.  
• WE KNOW WHO WINS. Keep faith that satan cannot overthrow God's will. Have you ever met someone who WANTS to be on the losing team? I've never heard of that before.

• Evil will increase and it won't lessen, it proves that it's the last days.  
•  The more good there is, the more evil. Remember, we know who wins!

• There is nothing better than opposition. When we're asked why is the gospel so hard? What are you weird? it's the perfect opportunity share what you know. Share what makes you happy and give that gift to someone else. It's not living the gospel that is hard, it's not living the gospel that's hard. 

• Don't talk about how you talk. If you're in a discussion and someone says, "why did you use that tone of voice." it makes situations harder than necessary. It causes hurt feelings and it's not necessary.

That's a long 'cliff-notes' version of the YSA fireside. Maybe I should google the meaning of cliff notes ;)

Anyways, it was really great. Then going to hear him speak again this morning for stake conference was good too. Last night was my favorite but today was awesome also. The stake center was beyond packed which is more than we can claim during regular stake conference.
Go and Do.

Books

I love reading, a lot! I started rereading Harry Potter because why wouldn't I? I'm only halfway through the third book because I read it while I blow dry my hair....weird? YES. But I figure I have nothing else to do and it's a 15-20 minute ordeal. I set the book on my lap and blow dry my hair. So it's pretty good that I've ready 2.5 Harry Potter books in just over a month only while I blow dry my hair! 

I don't have a lot of time to read for fun anymore but when I do, I overload a bit. This was a stack of books that I have waiting to be read...the next day I had five books ready for pick up at the library....and this doesn't even include Harry Potter...

My goodness. There are too many good books out there. I'm trying to get through the library ones first.

Nicole lets me borrow good books. She lent me Drops of Gold by Sarah Eden and it was my favorite book since Edenbrooke. Same sort of book set in "Jane Austen" times. If you like good books that don't have overt amounts of drama and books that are clean, these are the books for you!

Blackmoore is the second book by Julianne Donaldson (who wrote Edenbrooke) and it's different from her first book. It's darker but not dark if that makes sense.

 This is another Sarah Eden book. I have all of her books on hold at the library then they end up in my Amazon shopping cart :)

I started reading this one a couple days ago and I have about 20 pages left in it. It's really good! The 2nd book is coming out in March. This is one I have really enjoyed reading obviously since I stay up until much too late reading it after I get my homework/YW stuff done :)

Anyways, those are some good books if you need some ideas. They get my seal of approval (which obviously means a lot).