Success Squared

I first want to blog about our WONDERFUL fundraiser we had this weekend. Our girls put on a spaghetti feed and dessert auction for our ward and community. We were trying to raise enough money to send all our girls to camp and to hopefully buy a canopy for camp, that was our BIG goal. I was so excited when I did a little math and realized that we'd probably earn around 1,000, perfect!! Well it was kind of hectic to put it all together but it came together wonderfully. About 130 people came and donated desserts and money. We ended up with a grande total of....drum roll please......

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$4,130!!!!!!!

For ONE night, of spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, and water. Seriously. We had about 50 desserts donated, CRAZY. I was thinking we'd average about 10-20 dollars per dessert ummmm that was blown out of the water on just the few few. We had one chocolate cake sell for $110. We had a basket of yummy ice cream toppings go for $105. My silly dollar store Movie Night basket went for like 40 bucks and the cheesecake stuffed strawberries brought in $150 for the 3 plates I brought. It was incredible.

I was up on stage telling the auctioneers details so they could give item descriptions and I had to step behind the curtain because I started laughing at the amount of people were paying for these desserts. It was wonderful. We FAR exceeded our goal and now we'll be able to make some very necessary camp purchases and have a little left over for some fun Mutual activities. (No pics for me unfortunately, except I think Nicole got some? Nicole, are you there? You should post them :))

People are so generous!! 

The other success of the week was this morning, I decided not to wait to weigh myself after a week and a half of dieting, I'm not patient when it comes to that. I was SO so surprised to see that I had lost just about 8 pounds. Not too shabby. Of course I'm not able to tell whatsoever but to know that I'm at least making progress is great. I'm celebrating with some delicious jiccima sticks with lemon juice and lemon water. YUM. Hurray for yummy stuff that's still acceptable on my diet!! Hip hip horrrrray. If I start to feel really adventurous I might just go walk around the cemetery for a bit and start getting back in that habit. I was walking several miles a day around the cemetery before and I loved it. (We have a reallllly nice cemetery). 

Anyways, this weekend was good, work today was good, today is a good day to have a good day.

Chocolate Cake for Lunch?

Sounds good to me!!

I use the term chocolate cake very liberally here just in case you all believe that I actually ate real chocolate cake.....

I'll share this 1 (ish) minute recipe with you. Original recipe found here. I changed the recipe up a bit to fit my tastes/needs a little better. Mine is more like a thick chocolate fudge/pudding/cake, mine doesn't really resemble cake at all but I love it because it makes me think I'm eating batter....which we all know is the best part of anything you can bake.

One-Minute Chocolate Cake
Serves one but you can share if you want to :)

• 1 tablespoon plus 2 tsp cocoa powder
• 3 tablespoons of some sort of flour, I used Almond Meal, it's just better for you
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 2 tsp sugar-- I omitted this and just used agave to sweeten it
• 1/4 tsp baking powder
• 1 stevia packet (or 1 more tablespoon sugar)-Again I omitted this and used agave instead
• 1 tablespoon coconut oil or vegetable oil- I used 1 tablespoon mashed banana
• 3 tablespoons milk of choice, almond milk, regular milk it doesn't matter
• 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract

Combine dry ingredients and mix very, very well. Add liquid, stir, then transfer to a little dish, ramekin, or even a coffee mug. Microwave 30-40 seconds. If you don’t want to eat it straight out of the dish, be sure to spray your dish first (and then wait for it to cool before trying to remove it). I had to microwave mine for much longer, more like 2 minutes and it still wasn't quite done, but I did replace the granulated sugar for a wet agave so that probably had something to do with it, next time I might try decreasing the amount of milk.

Her recipe also shows a thick fudgey frosting that she makes with coconut butter, cocoa, banana, etc.....I tried to make my own coconut butter by blending unsweetened coconut flakes like she says to but I must live in the climate where it doesn't work because I just got really snow, powdery coconut. Also I'm pretty sure my coconut was olderish so it was probably a little dryer than it should have been. So instead of using 'frosting' I cut up the rest of the banana that I used earlier and put that on top, it was good.

I'll admit, I have a huge sweet tooth and this was not as sweet as I was hoping but with the extra banana it wasn't bad, still I might add one stevia packet next time and use a little less agave.

When I get back from running errands, I'll probably cut up my jiccim, sprinkle a little lemon juice and chili powder on them and have something a little more nutritious for my afternoon snack.

I took pictures but don't have time to upload them, I just realized what time it is and I have to go run several errands, come home make dinner, gather fundraiser stuff and run to the church to set up tables. Why am I such a procrastinator?!

Still up

I should be sleeping. I'm not. It's been a crazzzzzy week. Ive had meetings, mutual, fundraiser planning, scrapbook night, tomorrow is set up tables night at church and Saturday night is the big fundraiser day!! I have written myself 84 notes this week. It's been nice though because I've only worked a couple of my shifts after a not so good Monday. So besides Shelley I've been able to get lots done. One thing on my todo list was clean my room....ugh I hate those three words. I seriously live in a mountain of clothes!! Tomorrow I'll work on it.

in other news my brother Ty who is serving a mission in chile got his travel papers already, he'll be home August 14th at 2:30pm. That's exciting, it will be soooo strange to have him home again.

I bought some jiccima (sp?) and tomatillos today. Mmmmm my favorite things.

I also made some "sassy" water which consists of cucumber, lemon, grated ginger, mint leaves. I tried a bit and I really like it. it's supposed to boost metabolism or something.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to make a recipe I found today for a sugar/gluten free chocolate cake with sugar free fudge frosting made with banana. It will be good.....it has to be!! Been almost two weeks off sugar and this recipe won't break any of my rules!! Plus, it only takes 1 minute to make!!

Saturday I'm going to make cheesecake stuffed strawberries dipped in chocolate. That will be hard NOT to taste, delicious!! A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips....;)

Maybe this blog won't make sense, in fact I'm positive it won't. I feel like I'm human cursive....does that make sense? I feel loopy and twisty.

I'm gonna try to sleep now gotta be up in a few hours to get S off to work.

Fun-raising

I'm blogging from a handy dandy blogger app. Thanks Nicole for introducing it to me. I actually am a little weary of it because the other night I spent like 12 whole minutes writing a blog and it got deleted....bummmmer.i had no desire to rewrite it so here I am now.

I wanted to quickly blog about our YW girls camp fundraiser. We are going to have a spaghetti feed and dessert auction this Saturday at 6pm at the NW building. There's a suggested donation of $20for a family or $6 per person. After dinner we have LOTS of yummy desserts to auction off. If you'd like to help send our wonderful YW to camp, we'd love to see you there!! We have an ambitious goal but everyone is so generous so I have a good feeling about it.

On another note today was kind of a no good rotten day again.....hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Motivation

My ultimate motivation for this 'diet' of mine is to be healthy. I'm not trying to look a certain way or please anyone else. I want to feel good. I want to treat myself like a person, not a garbage disposal. I know how I felt last time I did this. I had more energy, I was more active, my anxiety was decreased. Getting the junk out of my system is my goal. I want to eat correct portions, eat more vegetables, exercise, sleep well, drink lots of water. I know I can do it.

I liked this quote that I found on Pinterest:

 

Who else is guilty of beating themselves up? Or just saying, whatever, it can wait. Everyone else it eating it. Nobody else is on a diet. I just want one. Just stop it!!

Even one pound lost is an accomplishment. Think of holding a box of butter. That's one pound. One pound healthier, one pound closer to a goal. 

It's not just about pounds, it's about how we feel in our own skin. Wearing baggy clothes because nothing looks good so why bother. Feel good about yourself no matter your size.

This is how I'm going to motivate myself:

found via pinterest

 With each pebble I will celebrate, with a large glass of water :). With each pebble, I will be closer to my ultimate goal. Lots of little steps can produce big results. The little changes are often the greatest.

I've also decided to increment the total amount of weight I want to loose and reward myself for each milestone. I really didn't hold back while making my list haha I want to have fun things to look forward to, to get me through the tougher days.

My first goal I reach I will get myself a movie or book

2nd goal- I will get a pedicure

3rd goal- A new (ctr) ring and a bottle of Essie nail polish

4th goal- A pair of Toms (perhaps ballet flats?)

5th- New Shoot Sac cover for my camera bag

6th- 2 new complete outfits, 1 for church and 1 for everyday

I know this seems silly but I really do like buying stuff and this way, I'll be less likely to splurge while at the store randomly, thus saving money in the long run :). 

Maybe this isn't the way for everyone but for me, right now, it's good. It could change or evolve as I go, and that's ok.

My timing is very ambitious but I'm not going to stress out too much about that. I'm not sure why I have to quantify it but I did. I won't beat myself up if I don't make it in 'time'. I'll just keep trucking along.

If I can do it, TRUST me you can do it too!!!! Start with something small, starting drinking at least 64oz of water a day. Small baby steps!!

Sweet Treat

Today is the day I have 100% started PRISM again. I'm looking forward to seeing some results and maybe finding links to other issues. I have a big goal in mind but I know that I did it once before, I can do it again.

Tonight after I ate dinner (salad with homemade greek yogurt dressing) I made up these little goodies for a treat.

They don't look like much but they are so good and just the bit of sweetness I needed to get through today. Haven't had sugar since Monday. The first two weeks are always the hardest in terms of sugar but I'm determined.

How to make these:

You need oranges, I think any kind will do but I used Cuties because they're so cute
Cut them in half horizontally
Using a small paring knife or a serrated spoon, loosen the orange flesh from the peel, don't remove it completely, just enough to create a small gap between the orange and the peel
Pour a little agave nectar over each orange (this step is completely optional, the oranges are sweet on their own, I used just the tiniest amount on each)
sprinkle the tops with cinnamon, however much you'd like, some got more than others
place on a baking sheet under the broiler for 4-5 minutes, check it though because it could take shorter or longer depending on your oven
You want to take them out when they are caramelized on top

To eat them, let cool for a minute then flip the peel backwards, away from the flesh and eat straight from the peel.

You're house will smell REALLY good and you'll get a delicious, juicy, naturally sweet, cinnamon-y treat.

Make up more than you think you'll need because they go quick :) I just did one per person which was fine for us but if allowed, I could eat four.

Perhaps tomorrow I will make 'sassy water'. I'm drinking lots (subsequently, peeing a lot) of water but I found a fun recipe to freshen up my water. Slice lemon, cucumbers and add to water, grate a little fresh ginger, and sprinkle in some mint. Let it sit in water pitcher to naturally flavor your water.

If you have any fun, healthy (ie: no sugar, no flour, no potatoes) recipe you'd like to share, I'd love to hear it!!

Ideas

I've posted in the past about how I love to write. I'm not a very eloquent writer but it is something I really enjoy. Roald Dahl once said when he writes, he leaves this world for another. It is kind of true. Although I would never compare myself to someone great like him, when I write I find I'm able to completly focus on what I'm writing. Whatever the characters that come out of my brain are doing, I do along with them. Sounds SO weird and I sound like a coo-coo bird but I'm just being honest. I love escaping to the world of whatever I'm writing. Wondering what the people in my mind are going to do next, who they will meet. I often just start writing. I'm not very good at outlines or anything.

An idea starts out as a dream, or I'll hear something in a song that gives me an idea, walking around stores gives me ideas, listening to people talk, going to restruants. One of my favorite past times is people watching. My mom thinks I'm a creep because I love to watch people, listen to their conversations, when driving I often find myself looking in house windows (ok that sounds creepy but it's not, I promise). My favorite time is around 5-6pm when people are sitting down to dinner and I can see them through the kitchen window (I bet whoever reads this will start closing their blinds now....shucks :)) I make up stories and histories for the people I watch, invent characters out of them. I've done that ever since I can remember. I've always had a crazy imagination that sometimes would scare me haha.

Today while driving around a resident for work, we were listening to a song and there was one line that made something snap and all of a sudden I was imagining this new place, this new idea for another book partly written already in my mind. During my 'break' between my evening shift and overnight shift I got out my trusty ipad and new blutooth keyboard (worth every penny) and just wrote down a few lines of basic information, things I had thought of. I started writing the first page. That's always my favorite, trying to come up with something that will make people want to continue reading. I often judge a book by it's first couple pages.

Anyways it just made me think. Inspiration is all around us, no matter what our hobbies or interests are. If we're open to seeing them, we can find ideas everywhere. I've always been envious of people who are just creative all around, whatever they want to do, they're great at it. even though writing is just for fun, I really enjoy it and if we can all find something we enjoy and that let's us 'escape' a little bit, we'll be better, healither people.

Anyone have any dreams of becoming a book editor? haha I could use some 'test subjects'.


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Nothing to do with anything:

Tomorrow I might post about a fun new treat I had today. I started my Prism diet again. Tomorrow it starts full swing, I have my water chilling in the fridge ready for the drinking. Yesterday and today I avoided all sugar but I did have some WW garlic bread that I made for dinner last night so I didn't fully start but will tomorrow. ANYWAYS this is a really tastey treat that I think others will enjoy, made with mini oranges (cuties), some cinnamon, and a little agave. Be excited.

When you don't feel like blogging....

(Thanks for the nice words on my last post, I wasn't really expecting any replies because I was kind of dramatic....oh well.)

You write random stuff

I just haven't been in a blogging mood lately. I'm just dizzy and feel sick most of the day so I don't bother.

We've been having really nice weekend weather. I'll take it. I pulled out the hammock swing and have been reading / napping in it when it's nice. It feels good to lay there and shut my brain off for a bit.

I love the band the civil wars

If I had a band I'd name it , "the money is in the banana stand"

If you get that reference we can continue being friends ;)

Even if you don't, we can

I LOVE downton abbey

I don't really understand politics

I love the internet far too much

White bread is gross

Sometimes I feel my heartbeat in my head

We watched family videos the other day and let me tell you, I had (and still have) "the moves"

Only 2.5 of my nails have fingernail polish on them

I keep hearing a dinging here at work

Im hungry for one of those captain crunch cereal ice cream bars

I'm not going to eat sugar or wheat or potatoes starting tomorrow

I'm dreading it at the same time, very excited

I'm ready to be healthy again

My arms hurt from typing like this on my iPad

You know the book goodnight moon? Did you know they have one called goodnight iPad? Cuz 'they' do (who is the proverbial they anyway?)

I need good book suggestions

My stomach hurts right now

I want to sleep

I Keep hearing noises that make me nervous

I'm not good at this

I wish it was 6am

I'm addicted to the game, scramble me...let's play

Also instagram

I can't wait for my 6:30am 'nap' in my own bed tomorrow

Plop plop fizz fizz

Team gale

Chapped lips

Green Apple Chapstick is the best

Derp

No Good Rotten Day

That's how I would describe my entire weekend.

I believe that writing things down helps for multiple reasons. I'm not sure if anyone reads this blog, and that's ok, it's not for anyone in particular. This post is mostly for me.

A few weeks ago I made it to the doctor for the first time in like 14 years....yikes. I was given some meds to help with some issues I've had my entire life. Anxiety/OCD. Dum dum dum dum. I hear people say all the time, oh I'm so OCD, I can't stand such and such. Pretty sure everyone has a little bit of OCD but in general, those who say they have it for the sake of dramatics, don't really have it. Who am I to judge....anyways. To me OCD is living every single day with a constant fear of _________ happening. Whatever the reasons for the individual person, it varies. To cope with that (usually senseless) fear, people with OCD develop habits or rituals that have to be completed to keep themselves safe, clean, etc...For me, it started off innocently enough, a few quirks here and there. But as time has gone on, I've come to realize how dependent I am on those 'habits'. The order that I get ready in the morning, how I dry my hair with my towel a certain way, lining things up, not stepping on cracks, etc....innocent enough. Now as more time has gone on, add a few more 'quirks' (calling them quirks makes me think I'm more like Zooey Deschenaal, and not some wacko) making sure the volume is on an even number, counting in my mind, spelling words in my mind, making sure I 'feel' even, sitting in the 'right' place in the car, where I put my stuff, hand washing/sanitizing, not touching doorknobs, how I put my shoes and socks on, etc....without realizing it really, it has consumed my life. I'm not nearly as bad as a lot of people with OCD, and I'm thankful for that. I have realized that I can stop something from becoming a habit if I try hard. But it's not really possible for me to change the already established habits.

Anyways my OCD stems from my anxiety. I think I subconsciously developed my OCD habits to self-medicate (in a way) my anxiety. I have very irrational fears, that's the most frustrating part, is that I KNOW they're irrational but there's not much I can do about it. One of my earliest anxiety memories happened when I was TWO years old. It's something I've dealt with my whole life. I thought I was pretty good at hiding it. 7th grade, it reared it's ugly, nasty head, probably upset that I had kept it hidden for so long. That was a bad year.

I've been debating whether to post this or not but either way, it's helped to write it all down.

On Friday I was supposed to fly to New York to spend the weekend in NYC, fun right? Wellllll I bought my plane ticket, bus pass, and attraction pass, drove 2 hours to Seattle Friday night. The entire time I was freaking out. Why? I have NO idea. I've flown by myself before, several times. It's not a big deal. There was just something about this trip and that day, I couldn't do it. I had a pretty embarrassing panic attack. Nothing helped. I have this weird issue, when people are mean to me I get really upset, when people show me too much compassion, I get really upset. It's annoying. So my mom was there and tried to make it better but it didn't help. I offered to buy her a plane ticket to come with me, give her my plane ticket to go, etc, but it doesn't work like that unfortunately. My mom called up the friend that I was supposed to meet over there and told her I couldn't go. That made me feel even worse. Ugh. It was all around horrible.

Last weekend I was literally in a daze. It was like I was in a dream, I wasn't really aware of what was going on. I drove home from Seattle with my mom and we talked about all my 'stuff'. I was sooo tense and the next morning I felt like I had been hit by a car. Even writing about it now makes me a little anxious. I've been thinking about that a lot this week and I've come to the conclusion that maybe I wasn't meant to go to NY, but I was meant to have that experience so I could finally admit to myself and others all the stuff that I've tried so hard to hide over the years.

There are some days that are worse than others. Since I've started taking some pills to help, it seems to be getting worse. Going to see a specialist in a few weeks. I'm just constantly dizzy, sick to my stomach, TIRED, I have no appetite (except at dinner I eat like a PIG), my mouth is so dry I cough when I breath, did I say dizzy? Tomorrow I will see my doctor and change something because it's dumb to feel worse while taking something that's supposed to help. I know diet plays a big role in this and I will be restarting my Prism way of eating next week (why is it always next week?). I'll see how that helps with my overall health. I think it will really help.

I'm still debating if I should post this. It's all pretty personal stuff but I do feel like I owe an explanation as to why I didn't go on my NY trip. Actually, I don't think I owe an explanation to anyone, more to myself. To work through my thought process. Hmmmm.

Well I'll post this, it might disappear in the next few hours, we'll see.

I just don't like talking about this kind of stuff. It does explain a lot about me though haha. When all those people at church ask me why I don't move to Utah, why I'm not married, why, why, why, I make up some silly excuse. But this is why. Why is it anyone's business? oh it's not. That sounds rude and I don't mean it to be rude, but it's true. Whatever.

Ok.

Conference 101

This last weekend my church had it's semi-annual general conference. It's where our leaders prepare talks and the MoTab sings. It's kind of a big deal and it's kind of an all weekend event. Saturday there are 2 sessions with 1 evening session for the Priesthood holders. Then Sunday there are 2 more sessions (each session lasts aprox 2 hrs). The weekend before that the Young Women of the church (ages 12-18 +their moms & leaders) had there own mini conference just for them. It's pretty neat.

What this means in our house is, we get to stay in our PJ's, eat cinnamon rolls (or this year, whole wheat cinnamon monkey bread, yumm), lay on the couch with our pillows & blankets, and nap in between sessions. No skirts, pantyhose, fancy shoes, or lessons to prepare that weekend.

Well this time was strange. I started by watching Saturday morning conference (I might have slept in a little bit). Then when the afternoon session came on, I accidentally fell asleep. (I'm having sleep issues currently so I can't be blamed for this haha). So I watched several saturday conference talks that night on my ipad before going to sleep.

The next day....I woke up with a TERRRRRIBLE feeling. One that I dread above all other feelings. I'm pretty sure vomiting is my least favorite thing to do EVER. I awoke with a start at 7:30am and ran down the hall....luckily I quickly took a pill to help ease my stomach. I was still reallllly queasy/panicked so I got a cold washcloth and started towards my bedroom. Apparently I looked horrible because my mom came down the hall and asked why I was sheet white. I had literally collapsed onto my bed (luckily) and there I laid until 4pm. I slept the entire day. Once again, missing conference. I think I had mild food poisoning or something...

I've been watching talks here and there throughout the week and I haven't come across one yet where I didn't think, DUH. Here are some favorite quotes from talks:

 This quote is great. He was talking about our world and how if we really look at life, we could not have been created by a big bang. I've never believed in the big bang theory (although I do enjoy the show ;))

 Recently, I've had some personal experiences with this one. This quote made me think about a particular situation and I wish I had had this advice several weeks ago. Action is important, all the well meaning offers of help can't produce results unfortunately.

 I LOVE this quote. When he said it, I smacked my forehead. I don't think I'm a very judgmental person for the most part. There are times when I find myself thinking about someone's life situation and not necessarily judging them but making assumptions. I need to:

 

Something about glass houses comes to mind when reading those two quotes. Just because I don't sin a certain way, doesn't make me any less of a sinner than anyone else.

 This was another aha! moment. I'm better at this now that I'm older but I remember being younger and always being so jealous of others, their clothes, their hair, etc...I can be happy for people when good things happen to them.

 Yes. 

That's all for now. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, this time tomorrow night I'll be sitting in the airport waiting to get on my flight. Hopefully I'll be able to sleeeeeeeeep while flying so when I land at 7am (EST) (4AM our time) I'll be able to somewhat function.